Why did I turn into a grumpy old fart?

Why did I turn into a grumpy old fart?

I was going to say “when did I turn into a grumpy old fart?” but the why seems more important. The younger generation just doesn’t make any sense to me. I always seemed to be able to see why they did stupid things. I was young once. I also did stupid things although my generation seemed to be able to learn from our mistakes and mature out of our stupidity. That does not seem to be the case anymore.

I left strict instructions to people whom I thought would have my back to hit me in the back of the head with a shovel if I started acting like a grumpy old fart. Now, to me that meant that I started wearing the socks and sandals combo,  complaining about those damn kids and their boogie woogie music, and wearing pants that come up to my nipples. That hasn’t happened yet so I thought I was still good.

I didn’t see it coming

What I never saw coming was a highschool graduate that could not figure out which combination of coins make up forty cents. If you are reading this and need me to tell you the answer to that, then you are the problem. Wait a second I just assumed that someone who can’t make change, can read. Hahaha.

My friend with younger kids tells me that they don’t correct spelling in grade school anymore because it would “inhibit their creativity” and two plus two does not equal four because math is racist. Molding young minds is such fun.

So, it is obvious to me now that when I order a big mac, fries and an ice tea but get chicken nuggets, a salad and a diet coke, and my ten dollar bill is ignored while he punches twenty six bucks into the debit machine, is not because junior is stupid, it’s because he is creative and not racist. I have no choice but to use a condescending tone as I point out that a chicken nugget is not a big mac, a ten dollar bill is still money and that I am not a racist because I would like correct change. I don’t mind helping junior piece this together but I think I might undermine some of the brilliant programming that the school system accomplished.

Technology plays a part

Due to technology, I have most likely been put into some kind of database that uses facial recognition to classify me as a certified grumpy old fart. This information will be available to all businesses and governments so as to bombard me with an avalanche of stupidity, I mean creativeness, until I have been overcharged at enough places to pay for junior’s therapy to get over his/her/they hurt feelings.

Since I got certified as a genuine grumpy old fart it seems I get nothing I want. If I order a large decaf coffee with one milk, I will get a triple caffeinated espresso with a stick of butter in it. Of course I will complain like a grumpy old fart  and they will say “sorry sir” while rolling their eyes and get me a senior’s coffee with some spit in it. I did not choose to become a grumpy old fart. I believe I was age profiled and stereotyped as someone who is trapped in the old world thinking of logic and common sense.

No shovel soon, I think

It is comforting to know that I did not choose to become a grumpy old fart and the the label was thrust upon me by the new and enlightened world order so I feel comfortable that I won’t have a shovel coming my way soon unless I have a friend who is secretly “creative” .